A Fractured Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, Cinderella was sweeping her kitchen when she  had a moment of clarity: she realized that her future depended upon herself and no one else.  

She began sweeping away the cobwebs of her  mind too...and things began to seem a little more clear to her as she thought of the events of the past year... 
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She always knew that the Handsome Prince enjoyed spending large sums of money so that he might impress his many friends with his taste and style and worldliness. He was often in the Royal Poorhouse as a result, but things always turned out just fine.

Being in the Royal Poorhouse did not worry the Handsome Prince because he had a king's ransom in wages and he knew that prosperity was always just around the corner. He also was quite adept at the game of 'Rationalization' which made every purchase one of great importance.

Cinderella was sometimes troubled by the Handsome Prince's spending habits, but she knew he could be quite disagreeable when crossed. So when she was worried, she would employ her own meager measures of penny-pinching until the trouble passed.

Cinderella really didn't mind the Handsome Prince's spendthrift ways because she'd grown used to them over the many years of being his Princess, and she knew that he would never change.

If truth be told (and as the reader will see, it is she who holds truth in higher esteem than the Prince), she did enjoy the Handsome Prince's spendthrift ways for he lavished her with a beautiful castle and trips to foreign lands and fabulous feasts. She benefitted benefited greatly from his generous spirit.

After many years, the Handsome Prince grew tired of Cinderella and began to blame her for his spendthrift ways. 
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Soon, a cliché fell from the sky and the Handsome Prince fell under the spell of a Wicked Witch at the Royal Bank where he spent his days, and of her Boy Changeling, who filled the Handsome Prince with such praise, that he soon forgot all about his loyal Cinderella.

The Handsome Prince believed their true love 'just happened', but any foolish jester in any court in any land knows it was the Wicked Witch who arranged for it to 'just happen', since she was in the Handsome Prince's employ at his Royal Bank and had recently been relieved of her own Prince.

The Prince wrote a letter to Cinderella: "And having left, in my wandering lost, I stumbled upon a kindred spirit. Not looking, completely off guard; a fellow gentle introverted damaged lost soul; quiet, smart and true. And we held on to each other. I sit beside her and every tension washes away, and I am completely at peace."
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For him, life with his loyal Cinderella had become dull, and it was much easier for the Handsome Prince to start fresh in a New Castle with the Wicked Witch and her Changeling than to try to find ways to banish the dullness of life with Cinderella. He told her it was 'too hard to try'.

In his New Castle, the Handsome Prince was free to spend the royal fortune anew! He could impress the Wicked Witch and her Changeling offspring with his taste and style and worldliness! Oh, how special the Handsome Prince must have felt to be so worshipped by the Wicked Witch and her Changeling offspring!

If the Handsome Prince ever felt sorrow or shame at his shabby treatment of Cinderella, he need only spend more of the royal fortune on mead from Scotland and drink his fill of it, and all bad feelings vanished, to be replaced by the good feeling that everything he did was right and everything Cinderella did was wrong.

And thus the Handsome Prince lived more than a year deceiving poor Cinderella. 
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The Handsome Prince did generously allow poor Cinderella to remain in the Royal Castle, the home they chose together. This was both a blessing and a curse to poor Cinderella for everything about it reminded her of her Handsome Prince, but he was not there.

When he first left the Royal Castle, he would often visit Cinderella. He would visit 'because he feels so guilty', the Royal Physician told Cinderella, but she couldn't believe that of her Handsome Prince. Poor Cinderella thought he missed her and their castle and their wonderful cats and devoted dog.

But any foolish jester in any court in any land knows that a Handsome Prince doesn't move out of the Royal Castle without a Wicked Witch waiting! But poor Cinderella trusted her Handsome Prince, and didn't even find out about the Wicked Witch for many months.

Soon, his visits dwindled and when the Handsome Prince realized that poor Cinderella had discovered his deceit, he ceased to visit the Royal Castle ever after.
                                          
But poor Cinderella believed in faith and hope and love and forgiveness and she prayed for the Handsome Prince to return to his solemn and moral commitment to her. After all, it was he who had written their wedding vows based on the writings of St. Paul, and she believed his words.
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In the meantime, the Handsome Prince was squiring the Wicked Witch and her Changeling all across the land --- to musical entertainment and sporting events here and there and far and wide across the land and lavishing them with expensive jewelry and clothing and spending more and more of the royal fortune. A fortune that rightfully belonged to Cinderella, not the Wicked Witch!

Cinderella spent very little on herself while the Handsome Prince continued to spend the royal fortune across the land. She even cut her own hair to save money so that she would have enough money to pay the royal bills that the Handsome Prince refused to pay. "I don't live in that castle with you --- why should I pay the bills?", he would say.

Alas, the Handsome Prince began to resent spending the royal fortune on the Royal Castle's upkeep when he cared not a whit for Cinderella any more, and so he sent forth a royal decree.

Poor Cinderella was to be banished! The Royal Castle was to be sold! All ties between them severed!

Poor, loyal Cinderella, who cared only for her Handsome Prince, must leave the Royal Castle.

Poor, loyal Cinderella was not without some degree of merit, or else the Handsome Prince would not have chosen her in the first place, and she took comfort that she had many loyal supporters among her family and friends who were very kind to her. Her heart was broken. Her mother remarked that if anyone could die of a broken heart, it would surely be Cinderella.
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She had spent much of her time alone in the Royal Castle reading and learning many things from great writers and thinkers about the Handsome Prince and his hurtful behavior. She learned that his behavior really wasn't so very strange among Handsome Princes between the ripe ages of 35 and 55, who often become mean and selfish to the people they know the best --- even if they don't buy a Royal Red Convertible Carriage.

But no one can sway a Handsome Prince in that stage of life once he's made up his mind. His mind is ruled not by logic nor by honor, but by his Royal Jewels.

Cinderella was not perfect either --- she was merely able to admit her faults and to try to change her ways to please her Handsome Prince. If he did not choose to recognize her true worth, then she could not force him ---- for the Wicked Witch's spell was most powerful and the Handsome Prince was most proud and could ne'er be thought wrong. And being under the spell of a Wicked Witch and her Changeling offspring, Cinderella knew that the spell could only be broken by a higher power. 
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So Cinderella made plans to step aside and let the Handsome Prince have his way. Perhaps he would really be happier without her and perhaps not. Perhaps she would be happier without him and perhaps not.

But, Dear Reader, even if the Royal Castle will not be hers, nor the royal fortune, Cinderella will be able to sleep at night and dream the dreams of the honest and faithful and true, and know that she tried her best.

For remember....

'One deceit needs many others, and so the whole house is built in the air and must soon come crashing down.'  Baltasar Gracian: The Art of Worldly Wisdom, 1637
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The Beginning of the End

The fall of 1999 was when things began to weaken --- she knew that later, but was oblivious then.

-----Original Message-----
From: she
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 1999 7:07 AM
To: he
Subject:

I think if you take away my secure email it would be like legislating my thoughts. It's like a diary to me.

-----Original Message-----
From: he
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 1999 8:02 AM
To: she
Subject: RE:

I need to figure out what our relationship means to you. I've done things like setting up your email based on trust and respect and now feel that I've just been helping you deceive and abuse me. I haven't yet been able to shake thoughts that you're mostly upset that you can't just freely do anything you want and that you think of me as getting in your way. I can't tell that you understand or are remorseful of how much you've damaged our relationship or that you want to repair it other than as a matter of convenience.

-----Original Message-----
From: he
Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 1999 8:08 AM
To: she
Subject: RE:

And I can't 'take away' your secure email from you. That's something you
control. You asked my thoughts and I was expressing my opinion.

To remind him that not long before, having secure email wasn't a problem, she re-sent this series of emails:

-----Original Message-----
From:  she

Sent: Tuesday, November 02, 1999 8:42 AM
To: he
Subject: FW: secrets

-----Original Message-----
From: she

Sent: Monday, July 26, 1999 8:03 AM
To: he
Subject: RE: secrets

Not as much as isle of view.

-----Original Message-----
From: he
Sent: Monday, July 26, 1999 7:46 AM
To: she
Subject: RE: secrets

You do love that private email, don't you?

-----Original Message-----
From: she
Sent: Monday, July 26, 1999 7:46 AM
To: he
Subject: secrets

The dwarf flies at midnight. The park ranger knows nothing.
Where's Pepper?

There followed a few days of egreeting cards sent back and forth, and some emotional conversations

-----Original Message-----
From: she
Sent: Friday, November 12, 1999 8:47 PM
To: he
Subject: ewe

So things have been kinda weird lately, ok for the last 10 months or something, and it's all my fault and I don't know why and I am really sorry. I started writing you a letter last week about it, but it ended up needing to be a letter to ME instead for the sake of my sanity, which I hope you can understand. I know I am taking a big risk in telling you this, but it basically helped me to own up to my weird behavior by trying to explain it to me instead of to you. I feel awful about what's happened. I think that some good has come out of your finding that stupid note because it made me realize how foolish I was. It's nothing that you did to make me turn to someone else—it's all me. and believe me, nothing, nothing, nothing happened. mid-life crisis, sexual abuse, who knows what it is. all I know is that I pushed too hard at trying to be his friend and it almost cost me him and you. losing you would have been way worse, believe me. so I have been writing to me all this time and someday you can read it, but not now. just too fresh and close to bleeding. I love you. I want to love me, but I don't seem to be able to.

No, She wasn't having an affair, she had turned 46 and had a mid-life crush on a co-worker half her age. She was running around with a girlfriend from work who was also half her age and experiencing things that she hadn't done when she was their age---having fum and feeling flattered that they enjoyed the company of someone so 'old'.